Ever wake up screaming? I did the other night.
In a cold sweat and breathless, I looked at the clock that read 3:08am. It was some sort of sick joke. You see, I had just gotten off the phone with a guy I had fallen in deep like with (yes like, because it wasn't in love) at or around 1:00am, and here I was awake like a fool only a couple hours later.
Needless to say, I couldn't immediately fall back to sleep. I did what any normal person does at 3am, I went on Facebook. I watched a cute cat video and a funny one too, and then it hit me that I could look up the meaning of my dream.
In my dream I was no longer a writer, I was on the quest for something, but I could not define what that something was. While on the dream moods website, I sat looking at the blinking cursor trying to figure out what the hell topic to pick. Writer or quest maybe? I sat there stumped. I tried to decipher the meaning of some of the terms and I settled on failure, because if I was no longer a writer, at this point I was a failure. The site described my "failure" dream as such:
To dream of failure signifies fears of inadequacy and low self-esteem. You are not applying yourself to the fullest potential. Or you are overwhelmed with anxiety and the pressure to excel.
Yep, that was it. I had completely stopped applying myself to writing. I had fallen in love with Mr. Always Busy (different from the one mentioned above), and the love wasn't reciprocated, so my self-esteem was low. It's not that he didn't care, he just didn't on the level I needed him too. Anyway, I ended it and sorta got depressed, but pulled myself out of it by doing my second favorite thing... Traveling. I went to NYC (details to come from that trip) and fell in love with me all over again. But stupidly, on my quest for needing romance in my life, I ended up in a deep like relationship. Talk about irony.
But back to my wake-up call or scream rather, after reading the definition I knew that I didn’t want to be a failure , anymore. And that I had to get back on the writing horse. So I put on my claps, oh wait wrong story... I dusted off my laptop and opened up the beginning draft and started taking notes.
The following week I went to a Ball (again, more details to come) but yes, a formal ball. But the morning after I knew what I had to do... I broke it off with Mr. Deep Like, and started a mad love affair with writing. From that moment forward we (me and my writing) had fallen back into our love groove.
So far it’s been beautiful, we are so in sync and so damn affectionate. I think I’m going to marry my writing!
The moral of the story, boys love and leave you, but writing is forever!!!
new hash tag alert #writingisforver #mrdeeplike #mralwaysbusy #thebitchisback #piecesofme